Monday, September 21, 2009

I'm always shutting the door in someone's face.

DSC_0725 Always.  With 29 boys, no matter how many of the boys I invite into my home (unless it was all 29, not likely!), there is another little hopeful face, wishing I would invite them in too. 

You see my home is part of the dorm, one of the four rooms off of the main room.  And most of the time, my door is indeed shut or it would be chaos from morning til night and I try to do all I can do to minimize the chaos in my chaotic life!

Shortly after moving into the dorm, over five years ago!, I felt the Lord give me the idea of having around four kids in at a time for various activities.  For example, Sun-Tues evenings after dinner, the boys either read books, color or play.  Well, I used to try and sit in the main room and color or read with them.  Remember, I have only 29 Bilene Aug 2007 005 now but have had up to 50 over the years!  Anyway, after about 3 1/2 minutes of incessant "Mana Laura, Mana Laura, Mana Laura, look at this, look at this, look at this" I had had enough and would escape to my house, annoyed with them and annoyed with myself for being  annoyed with them.

March 2009 071That's when I first had the idea to invite four or so in at a time and read or color with them.  Ah, thank you Lord for that wonderful idea.  It soon turned into inviting a few boys in at a time throughout the day, to do things together or for them just to play if I am otherwise occupied.  

September 2007 004They absolutely love it!  And I have a list of their names that I put a checkmark next to so I don't invite the same boys over and over.  And, they know if they ASK me to come in, I will invite someone else. That has put an end to 29 boys asking all day every day if they can come in!  

June 2009 097But you know what?  No matter how many or how often I have boys in, there is still someone standing on the other side, wishing I had chosen him as I close the door as gently as I can in their sweet little faces. 

And it breaks my heart. 

After all these years. 


Meghann said...

I can definitely understand your broken heart. I feel that way each time I put a baby back down in the Baby House, and they scream and cry as I walk away and close the door. I have not figured out the solution...except to know that I loved on them and find peace in that!
Hope you had a good Monday!

Rebecca said...

Hi, Laura!!! I'm just stopping by from the Missionary Mom blog's coffee break. I so enjoyed reading your introduction and also reading on your blog.

I'll be praying for wisdom for you regarding Feliciano and the other boys in your dorm. What a beautiful, and difficult, ministry you have!!! Y'know what? It doesn't matter how many kids you have -- 6 or 60 -- you just can't be everything to all of them all the time. I will pray that God multiplies your time and your energy so that you can minister effectively to the kids around you.

Blessings, Sister!!!