Just wanted to show you one way in which my boys are processing losing Naftal. This isn't a particularly verbal processing culture and even less so for kids as you might imagine. So I've been wondering how my boys are feeling about losing Naftal.
Yesterday, I was walking thru the playground and one of my boys called out, "come see our cemetery!" (umm, what???) So I took a peek around the corner and there was one little grave, complete with flowers stuck in and a little stick with a piece of paper at the head of the grave. It looked exactly like a miniature of a grave here.
I asked, "who's grave is that?" and they all three replied, "Naftal's!"
Well that near about made me cry right there.
What I wouldn't give to have been a Shangaan-speaking fly on the wall when they had the idea and went about making the grave! It sure would have given me some insight into their thoughts and feelings. (Shangaan is their heart language so even though I am better and better at Portuguese, I still only know about 20 words in Shangaan which is what they speak so often.)
It was a bit bizarre really but I've decided it's healthy as well.
As for me, I still process different aspects of his death as they hit me. Today, driving alone in the car I thought, "I can't believe he went from a stomach ache to dead in less than 30 days." It was all just so fast.
I found his contribution to my welcome home banner from November. That made me tear up a little as well.
We do miss him but we also know, especially as we celebrate Easter today, that we have a loving Savior who has made a way for us to celebrate eternity with Him. So I know Naftal is already there and am comforted by that.