Tuesday, September 21, 2010

My Broken Heart

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My darling son Pedro died this morning, September 20, 2010.

He was 14 years old.

Sometime, I will be able to write him a more fitting memorial to try and convey who he was - the love of my life.

For now, an earlier post will have to do.

Tchau my littl-y son.

You are so precious to me.

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A Visit With Pedro

April 2010 033 Oh, how I love having my little boy visit for the weekend. Oh, how deflated I feel on the drive home after I've dropped him off at his house. Oh, how empty my house feels.

So many things I want to teach him, I'm just brimming with ideas! A country a day. Devotionals for teens. Multiplication tables. How to bake a cake from scratch (and not out of a box as we did this weekend). English sayings like "hold your horses" and "don't let the cat out of the bag" (wait, do I know where that one came from??). Cribbage. How to talk to God about anything, at any time. How to forgive. How to apologize - and really mean it. How to spell in English. How to make chili. How to eat with chopsticks.

April 2010 005 The list could go on and on - oh, it did. But you get my point. It's tricky to pack all that learning and living into a weekend and not make it feel like cramming for the SATs. My desire to bless him and teach him and raise him - all condensed into the occasional weekend, leaves me feeling agitated sometimes, like I haven't done enough. But I don't want him to feel like he's a student - he's my son. I so wish all that teaching and learning could just flow naturally out of every day life.

But, I am oh-so-grateful for every moment I do have with him. So we just enjoy our time together although we both feel it isn't really enough.

Here's the highlights of this visit: (with his little friend Fauso in blue)

-Making a cake (from a box though)April 2010 027

-Making blueberry muffins (NOT from a box, from a packet!)

-Practicing with chopsticks at the Chinese restaurant

April 2010 022

-Multiplication practice during Yahtzee

April 2010 030

-What does Easter mean to me personally discussion

-A short note added to my mom with some English spelling practice.

I love this little boy, well, young man, so much my heart sometimes wants to burst! It almost did when I left him at home, pictured below with the little neighborhood children, on Sunday evening. My world isn't quite the same when he isn't tangibly in it.

April 2010 036

4 comments:

Mindy said...

Laura I am grieving for your loss right now and can't understand why this happened, but I'm trusting God to give you the comfort only He can give and the strength that can only come from Him. I love you and your dear heart!

Maputobound said...

Just another note to send you my love, a hug, and all my family's prayers. You are on my mind every moment. There are no words. . . but God. . .

Nikita said...

Dear Laura, my heart goes out to you and Pedro's family. I am so sorry. But if he knew Christ, he is in a better place. "I lift up my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." ~Psalm 121:1-2
Praying for you, as always.

The Reeds said...

Oh Laura, I'm so sorry... That's horrible... I have no words.. But that post again and again. He is the God of our days AND nights.. I'm so so so sorry.

My heart aches with you... :(