Saturday, October 23, 2010

One month later . . .


(My precious Pedro in 2004, his heart already full of love for Jesus and for people and for me.)

I have avoided sitting down to write this post for over a month now. Every time I think to write, I can't figure out how to begin, let alone what to put in the title line.  I am connected to so many people via Facebook that it has been easier to be on the receiving end of messages this month rather than writing them.  But it's time to write this horrible blog post.

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On September 20th, my darling boy Pedro died in a drowning accident.  He was 14 years old.  He was playing with some friends in a pond near his home.  He had swam there the day before without incident.  I have for the moment accepted the fact that I won't ever know exactly what happened to him.  Some believe he may have been bit by a snake.  Others point out the more likely reason, that there is an underground stream in that pond, creating a current which in turn creates a whirlpool in the deeper end. It took three agonizing days for his precious body to surface.  But they don't do autopsies in Mozambique so we won't ever know if there were snake bite marks or anything else that would give us a clue.  What I know is that he drowned, he is dead and my heart is broken and my life feels in shambles.

I was in the United States when it happened, in California, having taken my mom there to visit family and friends.  My passport was in New Jersey so it took quite a while for me to be able to fly home to Mozambique.  I arrived Friday night at 9 and his funeral was Saturday morning at 9.  I am very grateful I made it home in time for that.  I  needed to grieve with people who were grieving him alongside me.  But I feel like I buried my heart with that coffin.

I was in Mozambique for 12 days and then returned to my mom's in New Jersey.  I will return to Mozambique as planned around the first week of December.

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Some of you may have been reading my blog for a long time, others not, and may remember that Pedro is the boy I wanted to adopt.  When we began that process, we found his family so I was unable to.  But he is the son of my heart and he calls me mom (in May, I bought him a phone for his birthday and he put his phone number in my cell phone under "My Son Pedro") and if anything, our bond has grown stronger since we found his family.  He is the love of my life and was my future.  I don't know what I'm going to do without him.

If you'd like to learn more about this precious boy who was always full of life, joy, spark, love and kindness and see some photos of him, you can go to the top left corner of this blog and do a search for "pedro."  That will bring up the blogs that mention him.  I will also be posting more photos of him shortly, especially as I find older ones that aren't on this computer.

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(One of my favorite recent photos of Pedro, taken in April.  We had a big joke about his gold "bling!"  What a handsome young man.)

Speaking of photos, if any readers are previous visitors to Iris Zimpetpo, I would love if you'd look through your photos and if you have any photos of Pedro, would really appreciate it if you'd share them with me. 

I appreciate your prayers during this long journey ahead.June 2010 027

(The last photo I took of my my Pedro, full of life and joy!)


(The last photo taken of my darling boy, in September, by friends who saw him while I was in the US. He looks a little timid.) 

And beautiful


The Reeds said...

I'm so so so sorry.

My heart deeply aches for you AND for Pedro.

I can't imagine exactly what you must be going through.

I'm thankful that God gives us all the room we need to be sad and angry.

I hate the road ahead for you, but I'm grateful that we know we must end back with hope. Somehow. Someday...

I'll be praying for you and that God helps you to heal and overcome so that you can return(in spirit and hope too) for so many other boys who you mean the world to.

I'm so sorry.

L. Lagore said...

I have lost a young loved one too, so my heart goes out to you at this most difficult time. May the Lord put his loving arms around you and carry you through your sadness.

Mozi Esme said...

He is beautiful... I am so sorry!

Nikita said...

Dear, dear Laura,
I cannot imagine what it is like to lose someone so close to you. My brother was 12 when he died from lifelong complications from leukemia, so I guess you can be glad that Pedro died quickly. Whatever the way he died, it is in God's better plan, and I know it's hard to hear but we can put our hope in that. Christ died to save Pedro, and Pedro is now enjoying life in heaven, serving God. I will, as always, be praying for you. (And I must say that I am glad you will be back when I return to Zimpeto in May!!!)